I LOST 2.8LBS (Hey Livvy)

Hello All,
I always feel like I have so much to talk about but when I start typing my blog, I feel like I am just all over the place. I try to hurry and get it all in so I don't leave anything out. (I have been terribly forgetful lately) So, today, I am going to take my time and explain everything. If I bore you atleast, I have these notes for future reference for me. First, I want to talk about listening to my body.
So if my Dr. telling me not to run for a month wasn't enough bad news to make me start listening to my body, now I have aching wrists! I mentioned the push up challenge last week as something new that I added to my work outs. Well, My husband and I had been doing the work outs together for two weeks. My husband is pretty athletic and he even found the work outs were a bit tough for beginners. I just kept doing the push ups as the program instructed and the only thing that was bothering me was my wrists. I had been seeing results and definately feeling them. So here we are I completed to weeks and now my wrists are hurting to the point where I CANNOT do a push up! I should have listened to my body. I always try to tell myself that I need to push through the pain when it comes to physical activity when I really should take the time to rest  and not injure myself. My wrists are starting to feel better today but that is because I havent done a push up in a few days. I'm just glad I didnt have to go to the Dr. AND the moral of this story is listen to your body!

I have really been struggling with my eating habits. I was listening to one Of Jillian Michaels' Podcast and she made a comment about how ridiculous a diet where you eat Pizza and ding dongs is! I thought okay, I know that is ridiculous but why do I eat similar things every day? I was going through my day yesterday and all I could think about was eating something "carbalicious". I did! I would go in the kitchen stand there and think, "get something healthy out to eat, no, I don't want healthy food, that pizza would taste so good. I can start that whole eat healthy thing later!"  (Just incase you couldnt tell I was arguing with myself) I have never done drugs but when it comes to sweets and processed food, I feel addicted to it! Like I cannot say no even though I know it's hurting me and keeping me from my goal! As much as I want to lose weight and live a healthier life, it seems like I give  in to those craving everyday. I realize that my battle with weight is more about the mental and what I am eating, than it is about the physical. This leads me to my next  topic for today.

The Aha moment! Did you have one? Please share it!
 After eating all of the wrong things, feeling sluggish and not really motivated to work out or eat right, my husband asked mewhat was wrong before we went to bed. I wasnt going to talk to him about it because I believe that people who are "naturally" thin cannot understand what I am posting today. Anyway, I gave it a shot! I said, " When I have lost a signifigant amount of weight in the past, I always had that Aha Moment, you know where something happens or I think about something and I just think I am going to lose weight, starting Now! Then I diet full force! Well, I don't feel like that today. I am feeling the exact opposite! I don't want to eat right, I am tired of food period ! The only things driving my eating habits are these craving that I cannot shake. It's like I either have a really strong craving for junk food or I don't really are to eat anything! I don't know what's going on with me! When I worked out today, I didn't push myself. I didn't feel motivated. I mean I am excited that I get to start running again but I am just in a rut and I don't know how to get out! Oh, (sigh) I guess I have to just do it. Maybe I just have to get up in the morning without any euphoric sense of motivation and just do it. Maybe that's it! I just have to do it." And there you have it folks. That may very well have been my Aha Moment! I woke up this morning and started with a good choice for breakfast. There were Frosted Flakes, Fruit Loops, Biscuits and chocolate chips cookies readily available. I chose to eat a bowl of regular Cheerios with Skim milk for breakfast, along with a bottle of water.  I knew that wasn't going to hold me for too long which is fine. So, I started craving something sweet, instead of picking up those cookies (I thought about it) I got an apple, cut it up and ate it. Now, I am good until lunch. The journey begins. Those choices are going to start adding up in lbs. I have to make the right choice several times a day not just when I get what I am going to call "fake motivation". When I lost weight in the past that "fake motivation" carried me through losing anywhere from 7 to 35 lbs. This 73 lbs is not going to come off that easy. As much as I want to be thinner and healthier, I don't want it to come off easy, like alot of things in my life, if I don't work hard for it I won't appreciate it. This brings me to my final topic for today.

The scale
I bought a scale yesterday. It looks similar to this one. I have never had a good accurate scale at home. I decided yesterday to purchase a scale only to find out that since starting this blog I had gained about 5 lbs. Instead of weighing 206 lbs yesterday, I weighed in at 211.6. NOOOOO! That is not going to work! I have tried to eat healthier but not focus on weight since I am still breastfeeding. My baby is 10 months old now. No more breastfeeding for me. I have been slowing decreasing my milk supply. But anyway, that's another subject. I got on the scale this morning and I lost 2.8 lbs. That is a step in the right direction. Getting on that scale and seeing the numbers drop actually made me feel motivated to make the right choices today. I want to see that drop again in another week. So, I have decided to do a weekly weigh in until I reach my goal weight! I refuse to become obsessed with the scale and weighing myself daily. Anyone want to join me? I'm not sure which day of the week I will weigh in but I will do it once a week. This is the last time I will say this, I have 73 pounds to lose. Thank you for reading!